I Miss you but I dont want you back ...

Somehow, I find myself missing you today, perhaps because the anniversary just passed.

You know, I never felt as loved as I did when I was with you. I felt I belonged to you, like your eyes were always on me. Even if it was just an illusion, I cherished those moments.

But as they say, forever does have its expiry date, and ours did too.

Looking back, I'm not sure if you were ever truly in love with me.

A part of my heart believes I was loved and adored.

I'm uncertain if things changed later or if I was just imagining it, but I was blissfully happy with you.

I never wanted this relationship to end.

I remember how I went against society, my peers, and my relatives for you. I convinced them you were the best and that you would always be there.

Then, suddenly, everything changed when everyone realized you were the best thing that had happened to me.

You changed. You weren't there for me anymore. Suddenly, you started hating my presence, my calls, everything about me.

"We" were gone, and I was left alone with no clue what to do next.

I lost faith in myself because I lost myself in loving you.

I believed I was nothing without you.

So, when you said I was good for nothing, I believed you.

When you said I couldn't take care of my home, I believed you.

I believed everything you said.

Even now, a part of me still believes I'm not good enough, but that's life.

Now that you're not here, people say I look better, but I still miss you. Perhaps not  you, but the feeling of being loved and cared for—the feeling of knowing "I've got his back."

You gave me everything I wanted: your attention, your constant presence. I loved it.

I thought you were happy with me, and I loved seeing you happy.

I loved our endless discussions about which mugs were better and which curtains looked classy, and of course, the places we dreamed of visiting when we had enough money.

Everything was so beautiful with you, and I miss every bit of those wonderful moments—the memories, but not you. I still long for that sense of belonging, the way you said I was yours.

The way you told me to get ready, to look pretty because you loved seeing me beautiful. I dressed for you.

I've stopped wearing the bindi, bangles, and anklets that I adored because they remind me of my love for you.

I miss you when someone I saw my picx now because no one has captured me like you did.

Despite all this, I wish you happiness wherever you are and in whatever you do. I wish you luck, but never come back.

I can't afford to be betrayed again.